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The Great Rib Fake Out!

I know, I know...the scone REEEEE-MIX   is coming up. However, Pixies cannot live by baked goods alone, you   know.  I don't know about you, but I love me some delicious baby-back   ribs! During this impossible strained economic time, backs are not in the Pixie Purse's capability.  So, left   with a half a rack of spare ribs in the freezer, but seriously   undaunted, I began my quest to make a rib so tender, so juicy, that it   would meet or beat any one's expectation of a baby back-style rib.  Here   is the aforementioned hunk o' ribs....oh boy, we've got some work to do   up in here!

Clearly, Doctor Pixie needed to make these gargantuan spare ribs at least look like baby backs, yes? So, before they thawed completely, I hacked them into baby back lookalikes....




Yes, that is plastic covering my bamboo cutting board - no cooties, here. Then, I created my own rub out of the following;



In a left-flowing concentric circle   (HAHAHAHA) Brown sugar,  onion powder, onion salt, garlic salt, garlic   powder, paprika, dry mustard powder, cayenne, white pepper, Emeril's   Essence, and thyme. Now, we take our ribs to the spa, and give them a   good massage on both sides with yonder rub.


Covered, and into a slow (300 degree) oven for just two hours.....


After   two hours, I let the ribs cool slightly, placed them on a plate,   covered them, and put them in the fridge until later in the day. 


In   the meantime, I mixed a can of Great Northern beans with a can of black   beans, added barbecue sauce, bacon, and onion, and let it go   a-simmering in the crock pot.


Over half of a barbecue supper - done! I went   out for a few hours, and when I came home, the beans were filling the   house with the most tantalizing aroma! I then mixed up a barbecue sauce that simmered low and slow for a good half an hour...
Then, I mixed up the following for my Asian slaw (you've seen this one here before);
Black   and white sesame seeds, rice wine vinegar, vegetable oil, sesame oil,   salt and pepper, chopped scallion, carrot, cabbage and cilantro. Presto!   Slaw goes into the fridge, and you are just about done!

Crunch-a-riffic!    Now, slather (sidebar note: I once answered the phone at a food company   to hear a woman say that she thought the word "slather" was vulgar -   just weird...) ahem...slather those lovely ribs with your sauce. And   yes, in a pinch, you may use commercially-made sauce, just use a good   one!


Into   a 375 degree oven for twenty or so minutes, just until the top gets a   little caramelized, and the sauce has flavored the ribs...the results?
Can you blame me for not eating in restaurants much?
What is your favorite barbecue meal?
What   did Kitchen Angel think? Well, I think this may have something to do   with it being National Talk like a Pirate day....but all I heard was a   loud "ARRRGGHHHH"...and there she went!
Well, avast ye scurvy well, and stay tuned for that long-awaited scone remix. Love and kindness to all,